i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
