Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
