I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I cut my penus on the lid.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
