I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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