I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
