She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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