you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
