She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
