Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
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