she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
