your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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