he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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