so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Randomize
