Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
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