I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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