Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize