the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
