WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
