At least make sure they are 18
Why
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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