dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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