If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Randomize