oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
