If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
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