life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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