you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
my liver is dry heaving
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
