I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
