I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Randomize
