I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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