He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
