i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
