You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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