You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize