you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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