Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
