who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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