Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
