wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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