what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
