My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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