i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
