I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
