I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
