Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
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