In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Too much gin, very little bucket
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
