drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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