I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I checked into jail on foursquare
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize