i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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