look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
