i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
