And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
