I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
