ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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