Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
