Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
