Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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