They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Randomize
