You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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